Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize