It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
