fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
