She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Is Oprah even human
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
