i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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