A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
