Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
