I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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