Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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