I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
