So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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