If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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