It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
