**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
