There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
