PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
