Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
