oh god the rape fog is back!
he shaved USA in his pubs
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
