at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
