I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
