i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
