I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
