so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
