My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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