What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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