I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
