i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
