Barsexuality is the new black.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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