Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize