Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize