I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
