yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
