literally had 100 drinks last night.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
