We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
