fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
