ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize