you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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