if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
