I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
