..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
