I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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