I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Randomize
