dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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