so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize