Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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