It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
