i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
