I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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