Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize