i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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