Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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