i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Well I just put wine in my tea
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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