I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize