she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Someone came in the potted fern
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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