my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
