I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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