Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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