I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
