I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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