omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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