I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
