She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
