We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
