just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
