so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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